Some Thoughts

As we are reaching the end of our adventure here on the island many thoughts have been rolling around in my head.  I am spending my time being pulled in many directions - sorting through drawers etc, making piles of stuff to give away, keeping the kids going with school work so they have very little to finish when we return to Colorado, keeping on top of my assignments, trying to spend time with friends on the island, soaking up as much beach and water time as possible and finally still being the supportive wife of a med student who is busting out a couple of months of hard studying and exams to complete his basic sciences.  It is a time of transition and change.  Although I am very sad to leave the island we are mentally ready.  Coming here we knew it would be 20 months and that is what you prepare for and well your body just kinda knows when that time is coming to a close.  We are ready for Michael to start clinicals, to move to the next step of the process or adventure.  I am not ready to leave this simple island life full of beauty and adventure, but hope to carry it with me the rest of my life.

This time has lead me to think about how we ended up here - what brought us to this place in our lives.  We had lived in Colorado for 7 years and we had come to a point where we made a decision that we wanted to leave the US.  To take a step away, simplify our lives.  This would take a lot as we owned more then one home and all the stuff that goes in them.  We took a trip to Costa Rica to scout out a town that we would enjoy for a year.  We returned and sold our homes and moved closer to the city and got an apt. with a 6 month lease.  When we were ready we would head out of town.

After taking these steps I feel strongly it gave Michael the motivation to pursue a dream he had been contemplating for a few years. That last little push that we were no longer tied down by a mortgage.  He enrolled in some sciences to start the process of preparing and applying for med school.  So many people questioned this decision - we were financially strong, great job, flexible schedule, decent time off, excellent benefits - but was there happiness?  a fulfillment of doing what is right in your life?  Are you living up to the person who you want to be?  I don't think this was just on Michael's side but on mine as well.  We had made the decision for me to stay home and care for our children and I had been working on my degree while doing this.  So these were decisions that had to be made together.  Our family functioned as a team - it did not work without the other half.  We were really questioning whether we were living the lives we wanted and doing what we enjoyed.  Not for the money, the cars, the houses or the stuff but for the feeling of happiness. Were we living our lives enjoying our family and the world around us?  Not really, not in the truest sense.  We were not being true to the beings that we were or wanted to be.  It seemed we had lost our way or focus.

So in a sense this adventure of med school has brought us backwards - to a simplified life, focused on what is most important, being who you really want to be, spending time with those you love and choose to be around and simply making your life the quality that you choose.  Yet through these backwards steps our family has truly gone forward in such a positive way.  Our children are having the experience of a life time, learning life lessons that they may not appreciate now but will be forever grateful for later, as a family we have come closer while working on a common goal.  To know what it means to work as a team, to be selfless rather then be selfish.

So as I sit here and think about where we were and where we are now I can only give thanks.  I am so appreciative for the opportunity we have been given and so proud of what we have done with it so far.  The boys are running around outside, I hear their little voices carrying on the cool caribbean breeze, the windows are open, the palm trees are swaying, and the ocean is the usual beautiful color blue.  There is nothing more I could possibly want at this moment of time.  Life is not easy, not a cake walk BUT how would we appreciate what we have if we did not put in the hard work to achieve it?  Thank you to Michael for the hard work, for the courage to take the step to follow your dream, to take the step backwards to allow us as a family to run forward and enjoy life to the fullest and appreciate what is most important.  To my children for loving life, having fun and trusting mom and dad to always be there for them so they can take that brave step and experience the world around them completely - no holds barred.  Thank you island for providing the base to simplify our lives and focus on the good stuff - I will immerse myself in you as much as possible before we leave.  Until then................

nothing like hiking in mud like hobbits